Here in this Sorrow Chapter 5

Chapter 5

“I can’t believe you just did that!” Andy gasped as he sat down on the brown Naugahyde couch between Clark and Shannon.

Christian smiled, leaning back in the chair across from them.

Clark was laughing so hard that he was almost falling off the. “He’s going to fucking kill you,” Clark managed to spit out between laughs.

Andy looked out into the main room of the library. The heavy glass door cut the fiction section off from the twenty other kids in the main room.

Christian shrugged. “What’s the worst he can do, beat me up? He was going to anyway.” He crossed his hands on his lap. “I’ve hurt his pride. He doesn’t feel so tough any more.”

“Now he’s going to use you to prove how tough he is,” Shannon said. “You’ve made things worse for yourself.”

“Won’t I have my loyal friends to back me up?” He put his hands behind is head and crossed his feet on the table. “Come on, we’re one for all, aren’t we?”

The three of them shifted uncomfortably.

“Sure,” Clark said at last. “I’d love to have the chance to kick Jim Smitt’s head in.”

“Yeah?” Andy asked. “And what about all his friends that want to do the same to us?”

“They’ll get theirs,” Christian said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clark asked. “You sound like some kind of real Christian.” He giggled. “What’s the matter, Chris, you want to start living up to your name?”

Christian shrugged.

“Some day, we’ll take over,” Andy said. “We’ll be the ones in the positions of power, the smart ones. Then they’ll see what it’s like.”

Shannon chuckled. “Yeah, of course we will. Just look at all the senators that were in punk-rock bands.” She kicked the table they all had their feet on. “Congressman Sid Vicious? Governor GG Allin? President Johnny Rotten? People like us quiet down or die.”

“Some people don’t. Just look at Jello Biafra, and Henry Rollins, and the Misfits, they’re old and still going,” Andy said. “None of them have forgotten they were punk. Some people do stay different.”

“We need to stay different,” Clark said. He kicked at the table mockingly. “We need to keep our edge. We have to stay like this. We will become the next artists, the voices of the people, if not the rulers. Christian, you could be the next Bob Dylan, or Jim Morrison, or John Lennon. You just need to get a band together and start writing songs. We have to keep from growing up.”

Shannon ran her fingers through her shoulder-length locks. “I’m going to have pink hair when I’m forty.”

Christian laughed. “Of course you will,” Christian said sarcastically.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Shannon protested. She reached out with her foot and kicked Christian’s boot. “You think I’m a fake?”

“We’re all fake,” he replied. “You think we’ll all be like this when we grow up? We aren’t really like this, these are just clothes we wear. It’s not something we’ll be doing forever. It’s just a question of who will grow out of it last. If we are still doing this when we’re forty, it’s pretty sad.” He leaned forward. “We’re going to grow up, get jobs, and all that. In ten years, we’re going to be normal, just like everyone else, let alone twenty years from now. The only people that keep looking like this are the ones in the bands making enough money to keep doing it.”

“Not me,” Shannon said. “I’ll stay a freak forever. Punk ‘till I die!”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Christian snorted.

“So what? Are you going to be the one that stays the way you are?” Clark asked. “Now that you’ve insulted our integrity.”

“I doubt it,” Christian answered. “Twenty years from now, the Misfits will be a vague memory for me.” He smiled and leaned back. “People like us don’t stay like we are. We get old, we give in.” He shook his head and entwined his fingers behind his head. “People like us don’t win.”

Andy laughed nervously. “When did you become such a cynic?”

“We have to do what we can to make our mark as soon as possible. We need to give it the go before we get old and lose our guts.” He laughed and cleared his throat, peering out into the main area of the library. “I guess I’m just nervous about getting my ass kicked tonight,” he said with a laugh. “I think we should run to my car as soon as school’s out tonight.”

Shannon got up and began to pace the room. “They’re going to be waiting for you in the parking lot,” She said. She paused and pulled a book off the shelf. “That’s if they don’t come to your house and wait there.” She turned the book over in her hands, looked out the glass door and dropped it into her hand-bag.

Christian shrugged. “If they come to my house, I’ll just shoot them.” He chuckled. “It’s not like my dad doesn’t have enough guns there.”

“Well you’d better keep something ready then,” Clark said. “You’ve just made a bad enemy even worse.” He pushed Andy down where Shannon had been seated and put his feet up on the couch. “Best keep something on hand.”

Christian laughed. “I’ll need it for my mom when she sees my coat.”

Shannon dropped another book into her bag. “We should just cut the rest of the day.”

“Yeah,” Clark said. “I’m already going to have detention tomorrow. If I get in any more trouble, I’m not going to the show.”

Shannon snorted. “Go fuck your Nazi parents.”

“They aren’t as bad as Andy’s,” he protested, pushing Andy almost off the couch with his feet.

“That’s true,” Christian said.

Andy opened his mouth to speak, but then shrugged. “My dad isn’t so bad,” he offered weakly.

“You guys suck,” Shannon said. She walked over to Christian and leaned on his shoulders. “Why don’t you guys be men for a change and just fucking cut.” She began to kneed his shoulders, and he melted into her grip. “You already cut one class. You’re going to have detention into next week as it is.”

“That’s true,” Christian said, shrugging. “I might as well.”

“Good.” She looked up at Clark and Andy. “You guys are a bunch of fairies.”

“Let’s just leave now,” Christian said.

Shannon nodded.

“Will you come back and pick us up?” Andy asked.

Christian’s voice broke when he laughed. “And pass up a fight with the baseball team? I bet they’ll even bring their bats! I wouldn’t miss it for the world!” He paused and stared down at his hands. “Be waiting in the parking lot right after class. I don’t want to wait around.” He got up and shouldered his back pack. “If you aren’t there when I get there, I’m leaving,” he said as he followed Shannon out the door.