From the pages of:
www.policegazette.us
Originally published, September 2012
Recently I had the privilege to sit down with Deputy County Exec
Bijoy Datta over lunch to answer allegations of racism. Democratic Candidate for Broome County Executive, Tarik Abdelazim
played the card when news broke his campaign fund accepted nearly $250
in contributions from foreign nationals. This is fine for a potential
President of the United States of America, but when you get down to the
battle for Broome County that kind of behavior is unacceptable.
Abdelazim claimed he was singled out for his funny last name. Datta
responded, "My name is Bijoy Datta."
I tell you, Abdelazim could not have hit the nail
harder. Datta is a compassionless psychopath that should never be given a
taste of power. I met Bijoy when I carried equipment
for several punk rock bands he played in. I can't repeat in decent society the
names we've called each other across crowded rooms. These sweaty punk
rockers with greasy hair and once-black clothes are only happy when
they're angry, and they love nothing more than a good racist joke. Datta
was Senator Libous's press liaison at the time, and the only right-winger in
attendance, so the kids were happy to dislike him for any reason they
could. In addition to being a virulent racist, Datta is a horrible
singer.
I myself asked him to run a mayoral campaign for me,
but he was convinced Joe Merrill could easily unseat the Party Mayor.
The decorated Democrat war-hero went running down the street screaming
for mercy and withdrew from the race the first time he encountered one
of Mayor Ryan's drunken lunch rages. I myself swore I could never take
the campaign seriously, so Datta declined and assembled Debbie Preston's
County Exec campaign instead. Clearly I should be Mayor of Binghamton
right now. I won't go snooping about on my friends, but I'm certain
Preston pays better than I would.
Abdelazim is a second generation Binghamton native,
whose father restarted my own grandmother's heart on multiple occasions,
so I must admit I'm biased. However, I will not let my long-time
friendship with Datta color my views in his favor. I've never voted for
Bijoy, even during his Libous days, but only because I do know him so
well. At weddings, we are regulated to the back corner of the balcony,
as the most likely to misbehave. Rightly so, but to our credit we didn't
flip our table over the edge, no matter how much of a constant
embarrassment we were for our ladies. Antics like this are rare these
days. Bijoy is a father if two, so no more kamikaze trips across the
country for July 4th fireworks over the Pacific. California to North
Carolina in 49 hours is possible, but I don't recommend it.
But for the occasional holiday party, these lunches
are the only time we can get together to lose ourselves in our youth,
rapping about music and movies. I still drink Guinness at these lunches,
but he has switched to water, at least while on the public clock. Like
all Preston's people, Datta drives his own car, making good the example
she set by seizing hundreds of vehicles misused by County employees.
Whomever sits in the County seat this time next year, these are the
exact measures that need to be taken before we all must sell everything
we own and move away. However, I would never vote for a
pro-hydrofracking candidate.
Bijoy's life isn't all photo shoots like the Libous
days. He's organizing emergency services and milking a few more dollars
out of a strained budget to keep Broome County afloat. I could see
boiling in his eyes that no one had been willing to talk Batman with him
since he'd seen the new film. Few know under that finely pressed suit
and bold tie is a bat tat on his shoulder. I won't bore you with details
on the Bale v. West for worst Bat argument. As we chatted, the Party
Mayor and Tarik burst forth from the bar shielding their eyes from the daylight. Bijoy waved.
They went back to work. I couldn't tell you what either drank.
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