Here in this Sorrow

Deanne MacIntyre

I pass by Alex Brown as he comes out of the computer room. I haven’t really talked to him since his brother and my sister split up. They were planning on getting married and everything. It’s too bad, because Alice and Mike were really good together. My nephew Dylan absolutely loved him. I smile and walk past him down the hall to the locker rooms. I hate gym class, but at least I’m not in one of the co-ed classes. I hated having all the boys staring at me, especially when we were doing swimming. That was the biggest humiliation, when they tried to look away and pretend they weren’t staring, but you knew they were. I would always wear a T-shirt, even though Ms. Aspling didn’t like it. Everyone knows she’s a lesbian though. I change into my shorts and the Zimmerman High T-Shirt that came with my graduation robe, and go upstairs to the gymnasium.

That freak girl, Shannon Donahue, hasn’t changed again. I can’t stand that bitch. Someone was telling me that she’s fucking Christian Duke, the one who always wears the trench coat. I think it was April Grey who was telling me how she heard them talking about all the kinky things they were into, like tying each other up, and biting each other, and shit like that. That’s so gross.

She gets put on my volleyball team, which sucks, because she just stands there. No matter how much we order her to do something, she just looks at us, smirking! The ball will be coming to her, because everyone knows she doesn’t even try, and we’ll be rushing to get it. Meanwhile, Shannon will just stand there. Sometimes, she’ll even pretend she’s about to go for it, but will stop mid-step. I want to kill her! She just laughs about it though, like it’s funny that our team is losing. I even yell at her today, which I normally don’t do. Ms. Aspling used to try and talk to her, to get her to participate, but I think she has finally realized that it’s a lost cause. She has finally started failing Shannon for this shit. I think she is even happy when Shannon skips class.

Ms. Aspling lets us go five minutes before the bell rings, and we all file down to the locker room. Naturally, Shannon is one of the first ones down there. She just goes and sits next to her open locker in the back corner. Emily Mann runs over to her and starts screaming at her about losing the game. Shannon just stares at her with that stupid half-smirk on her face. A few other girls go over and start yelling too. I go with them, and a couple minutes later, all of us are standing around her, yelling at her. It’s kind of funny, like that scene in that movie Carrie. Shannon just keeps smiling at us! Smiling! Like we’re all friends of her or something! Is she a retard too?

Finally, Chrissy Tanden grabs a spiked collar out of Shannon’s locker and starts runs across the locker room. Shannon snaps and goes after her. She has to fight her way through the rest of us though, so Chrissy has plenty of time to get to the toilet stalls by the showers. Shannon gets there in time to see Chrissy drop the collar in the toilet. We all burst out laughing and Shannon just stands there, looking shocked.

“That’s what you get,” Chrissy tells her and flushes the toilet.

Shannon grabs Chrissy’s shoulder and spins her back around, and punches her in the face, knocking Chrissy to the floor. Shannon jumps on her, pinning Chrissy’s arms with her knees and starts slapping her in the face, just hard enough so that the sound of each hit makes me cringe with the rest of the girls. Chrissy is screaming for help and crying and trying to block her face, but she can’t get her arms out from under Shannon. None of us want to touch that skank though. Who knows when the last time she took a shower was. She probably has AIDS from one of those dirty punk guys she fucks.

As soon as Ms. Aspling comes into the locker room, she drags Shannon off Chrissy and takes them both into her office, slamming the door. I get changed slowly, so I can hear what’s going on. All I can hear is Shannon screaming about how it was a $30 collar and it’s ruined.

Chrissy leaves first, and her face is all red and swollen from crying. I feel so bad for her, but she walks past me before I can say anything to comfort her. I follow her out of the locker room. I hope Shannon gets suspended for what she did.

Go to Emily Mann