The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates

Scene 1

Set: The office of an employment agency.

LIGHTS UP

BEATRICE enters. She is pretty, in a 1950's sort of way, tightish blouse, shortish skirt, hair in an alluring, tightish bun. She stands at the 'WAIT HERE' sign before a desk a RECEPTIONIST sits behind. RECEPTIONIST busies herself, flipping through a stack of paperwork and rearranging items on her desk, while BEATRICE waits, holding her purse in front of her. Finally, the RECEPTIONIST points to Beatrice.

RECEPTIONIST

Are you next in line?

BEATRICE approaches the partition.

BEATRICE
My name is Beatrice Catts. I received a call that there was a job for me.

RECEPTIONIST thumbs through the stack of papers again and withdraws an application.

RECEPTIONIST
Beatrice Catts. Beatrice Catts. Ah, yes, here you are.

RECEPTIONIST runs her fingers down the application.

RECEPTIONIST (cont)
Something came in this morning we thought might fit your... qualifications.

BEATRICE
At the hospital?

RECEPTIONIST
No, the surgical staff was full this morning. You’ll be cleaning up after medical experiments. Do you mind animals?

BEATRICE
No one said anything about animals in the interview.

RECEPTIONIST
Good, because you’ll be handling a lot of them. It says you might be required to perform euthanasia but, nobody has done it yet. I think you’ll be fine.

BEATRICE
Yet?

RECEPTIONIST hands BEATRICE a paper.

RECEPTIONIST
All right, good. Here is the address, report immediately. Your first paycheck will be here Friday. All subsequent checks will be collected directly at the job site.

LIGHTS DOWN.