Scene 2
Set: Dr. Dendrobates's Home
The front step of an old house is set up before the closed curtain. Dead, desiccated ivy covers the expanse of the broken plaster wall. A twisted wooden door hangs on hinges towards the center.
LIGHTS UP
BEATRICE enters. She knocks on the door. There is a long pause.
DR. DENDROBATES(OS)
Who is it?
BEATRICE
Beatrice Catts, sir! The employment agency sent me over.
Beatrice Catts, sir! The employment agency sent me over.
DR. DENDROBATES opens the door.
DR. DENDROBATES
It’s about time they got someone over here. Damn good for nothing jack-asses seem to think I can pull these salamanders apart by myself!
BEATRICE
Excuse me?
DR. DENDROBATES
Salamanders display tremendous affection when properly stimulated, and I often find it difficult to pull them away from each other when it's time to be isolated. Only two are large enough to bite, but don't worry, I'll handle them myself.
BEATRICE
How big are the rest?
DR. DENDROBATES
Everyone has been a little squeamish. You got a strong stomach?
BEATRICE
Are salamanders poisonous?
It’s about time they got someone over here. Damn good for nothing jack-asses seem to think I can pull these salamanders apart by myself!
BEATRICE
Excuse me?
Curtain opens to reveal a cluttered office. DR. DENDROBATES beckons for BEATRICE to enter. Stagehands in black wheel the front door off stage after BEATRICE steps through. The office is lined with crammed bookshelves topped with drooping plants scratching at frosted windows. A large desk dominates the room and is stacked high with books and papers. A thick layer of dust covers everything but the desk.
DR. DENDROBATES
Salamanders display tremendous affection when properly stimulated, and I often find it difficult to pull them away from each other when it's time to be isolated. Only two are large enough to bite, but don't worry, I'll handle them myself.
BEATRICE
How big are the rest?
DR. DENDROBATES
Everyone has been a little squeamish. You got a strong stomach?
BEATRICE
Are salamanders poisonous?
DR. DENDROBATES pours a cup of coffee.
DR. DENDROBATES
There’s coffee here if you want it. You’ll be working mostly with salamanders, but there are a few toads. You won’t have any of the more aggressive species, but a few are poisonous, so you will have to wear gloves at all times.
BEATRICE
How poisonous?
There’s coffee here if you want it. You’ll be working mostly with salamanders, but there are a few toads. You won’t have any of the more aggressive species, but a few are poisonous, so you will have to wear gloves at all times.
BEATRICE
How poisonous?
DR. DENDROBATES
Nothing serious, probably just give you a bad headache, maybe a little vomiting with prolonged exposure, but you’ll be quite safe.
BEATRICE
What exactly was the job description you sent the agency?
DR. DENDROBATES
They call it a lab assistant, but it's more of a secretary. You'll take mostly notes, which must also be typed in triplicate, but I still have a stack of carbon paper, so you'll only need to type it once, for now at least. I tend to the specimens before I go for my coffee in the morning, so the only time you'll be required to handle an amphibian is if one needs an extra dosage while I'm at the Post Office in the afternoon.
BEATRICE
What kind of experiments do you run here?
DR. DENDROBATES
I'm going to prove that a frog can die of loneliness.
Nothing serious, probably just give you a bad headache, maybe a little vomiting with prolonged exposure, but you’ll be quite safe.
BEATRICE
What exactly was the job description you sent the agency?
DR. DENDROBATES
They call it a lab assistant, but it's more of a secretary. You'll take mostly notes, which must also be typed in triplicate, but I still have a stack of carbon paper, so you'll only need to type it once, for now at least. I tend to the specimens before I go for my coffee in the morning, so the only time you'll be required to handle an amphibian is if one needs an extra dosage while I'm at the Post Office in the afternoon.
BEATRICE
What kind of experiments do you run here?
DR. DENDROBATES
I'm going to prove that a frog can die of loneliness.
LIGHTS DOWN
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