Monkeys with Alopecia
Last week, Nuge thought alopecia were pack animals from the Andes craved as a novelty pets by people with an extra ten grand in their pocket. Even more horrible, it's a rare disease that makes you lose all your body hair. One time things got crazy with an electric razor at a show in Tucson, and the Motor City Madman found himself without his chest pelt for nearly a week. Yesterday Nuge bought .JPG magazine for what he thought was a picture of that guy from Tool reading the yellow pages, but was in fact a chimpanzee that had lost all its hair when it was a couple years old. The chimps you see on TV all have brown hair, but Nuge was shocked to see the ape was white underneath it all.
Of course, the Evolutionists all say the chimpanzee is our closest living relative, with only 98% of our DNA, and if it was 7,000 years ago, we'd think chimpanzees were sexy! This chick was built for the pit though with muscles larger than any part of Ferocious Theodocious. Nuge don't think that's hot. Come on guys, let's get a blouse for the monkey. Does the chimp's lightness of skin prove that Caucasian human beings were the first of the races to step away from apehood and assume humanism? Don't be jumping all over Nuge for that, he don't mean it quite the same way as when the Nazis said the same thing. Remember what happens when you assume.
If all human races came from a common ancestor, and we can interbreed, and our only real differences are cosmetics that blend and even out over a few generations, so we are all one species. Sure, that guy from "Traitor" may have the facial features of a lowland gorilla, but Nuge has witnessed a hell of a lot of fat white guys that fit that description in body so much more. Nothing screams 'circus monkey doing a trick' than a white guy on a bicycle. George W. Bush is living proof that even the most simpleton, tree-dwelling monkey can become President of the United States of America if we are not careful.
So if chimps are white, and white people came first, developmentally speaking, the other races should be more advanced, having more time to develop and evolve, and evolutionarily learn the evolutionary mistakes of the White Man. Nuge has never seen a black man wearing sock garters. If that's not proof of advancement as a species, Nuge doesn't know what is.
Nuge, prefers the American ideal, that all men are created equal, and that every monkey, from the smallest marmoset, all the way up to Lemmy Kilmister, have the right and the ability to rise to greatness. That is the belief that set the United States of America apart as a nation, and a belief that we must work hard to keep in motion. It's about time that we accepted that some of us are in fact very different from others.
That should not be a point to divide us, but a point to strengthen us as a nation and as a species. No man is better than another, and no man is worse, and our opinions are based only on his actions. Whichever Bonzo sleeps in the White House next February, we need to remember as citizens and voters, that we are at the reins.
VOTE NUGE
Currently listening :
Free-for-All
By Ted Nugent
Release date: 2008-02-01
No comments:
Post a Comment