“Hi, thank you for calling SpectraCom. My name is Rubin. Can I have your ten digit phone number, please?”
“716 555 2029.”
“Vincent Calhoun!”
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Vincent Calhoun!”
“Yes?”
“Vincent Calhoun, why are you calling here?”
“Well, there is a credit on my closed account, and I would like to have it refunded to me.”
“Vincent Calhoun, I am going to speak slowly because you are quite obviously an idiot.”
“What?”
“Vincent Calhoun, you will never ever ever ever ever get that money! Do you understand me?”
“You don’t have to be so rude.”
“Yes! Yes, I do, Vincent, because being nice to you just doesn’t work! You are too stupid for me to be nice to. You have forced me to be rude. I can’t help it.”
“What did I do to you?”
“You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said. We have spoken five times now, Vincent, five times! I have explained to you repeatedly why you won’t get this money. I can see on your account that other people have explained why you won’t get that money. We keep explaining, and you keep calling back! That’s what you’ve done to me, Vincent. You have wasted my time on multiple occasions. You have wasted the time of my coworkers. You have wasted the time of the people trying to call who need our help. You have wronged so many people, Vincent, and you don’t seem to care. All you can think about is scamming SpectraCom for a few dollars. If I could send you that money, Vincent, at this point I would, simply because it seems like I’m doomed to keep talking to you. However, I can’t send you that money. You aren’t going to get it, so just forget about it. Hang up the phone, Vincent Calhoun, and forget about your credit. Just forget it.”
“But...”
“Just forget it!”
No comments:
Post a Comment