Scene 5
Set: Employment agency
LIGHTS UP
RECEPTIONIST is at her desk, typing. BEATRICE enters.
RECEPTIONIST
I’ll be right with you.
I’ll be right with you.
Long pause.
BEATRICE
Excuse me.
RECEPTIONIST
One moment, I said.
BEATRICE
Yes, I’m sorry.
RECEPTIONIST
Okay, thank you for being patient. Applications are on the clipboards to your right.
BEATRICE
Hi, I’m Beatrice Catts. You sent me over to Dr. Dendrobates’s laboratory.
RECEPTIONIST
Oh, yes, that’s right. I remember you know. What can I do for you?
BEATRICE
Well, I’ve been up there a week now, and I’ve really given it my best, but I’m not really sure that’s the job for me. I was wondering if you had anything else I could try out?
RECEPTIONIST
Not your line of work, I understand. Well, I’ll just need you to sign a paper explaining your reasons, and you’ll be all set. You can pick up your last paycheck here at the end of the week.
BEATRICE
Well, I’d really like a different position if you’ve got one.
RECEPTIONIST
Yes, well, you see, Ms. Catts, we have a 3-position limit on denials. Once you’ve been removed for whatever reason before the employer releases you from service, we no longer consider you employed with this agency.
BEATRICE
I didn't get fired from this one though, he likes me! He says I do a good job!
RECEPTIONIST
We don't like to say, 'fired,' Miss Catts. It implies our agency sent out employees that did not meet our high standard of quality. We prefer suspension until further notice.
BEATRICE
But I need this. I just got a new place, and I was looking at a car.
RECEPTIONIST
I’m sorry, Ms. Catts, I don’t make the rules, just adhere to them like a religion.
BEATRICE
You said nobody likes working with him. You can’t hold it against me!
RECEPTIONIST
If you’d like to speak with my supervisor, I could give you a number to call.
BEATRICE
No, that’s okay.
RECEPTIONIST
Are you sure? It’s an 800 number, it wouldn’t cost you a dime.
Excuse me.
RECEPTIONIST
One moment, I said.
BEATRICE
Yes, I’m sorry.
RECEPTIONIST
Okay, thank you for being patient. Applications are on the clipboards to your right.
BEATRICE
Hi, I’m Beatrice Catts. You sent me over to Dr. Dendrobates’s laboratory.
RECEPTIONIST
Oh, yes, that’s right. I remember you know. What can I do for you?
BEATRICE
Well, I’ve been up there a week now, and I’ve really given it my best, but I’m not really sure that’s the job for me. I was wondering if you had anything else I could try out?
RECEPTIONIST
Not your line of work, I understand. Well, I’ll just need you to sign a paper explaining your reasons, and you’ll be all set. You can pick up your last paycheck here at the end of the week.
BEATRICE
Well, I’d really like a different position if you’ve got one.
RECEPTIONIST
Yes, well, you see, Ms. Catts, we have a 3-position limit on denials. Once you’ve been removed for whatever reason before the employer releases you from service, we no longer consider you employed with this agency.
BEATRICE
I didn't get fired from this one though, he likes me! He says I do a good job!
RECEPTIONIST
We don't like to say, 'fired,' Miss Catts. It implies our agency sent out employees that did not meet our high standard of quality. We prefer suspension until further notice.
BEATRICE
But I need this. I just got a new place, and I was looking at a car.
RECEPTIONIST
I’m sorry, Ms. Catts, I don’t make the rules, just adhere to them like a religion.
BEATRICE
You said nobody likes working with him. You can’t hold it against me!
RECEPTIONIST
If you’d like to speak with my supervisor, I could give you a number to call.
BEATRICE
No, that’s okay.
RECEPTIONIST
Are you sure? It’s an 800 number, it wouldn’t cost you a dime.
BEATRICE exits.
LIGHTS DOWN
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